Category Archives: STEMEPUNK BLOG

Between my wife’s depression, and hiding my daughter from worrying herself into nightmares, I was on borrowed time. The drama might seem the same, or, it might help those to commiserate with. Help me, I am dying. Just recently, I experienced chest pains near my sternum. After two days of pain, I decided to callContinue reading “STEAMPUNK10”

We are crippled. We took her to the ER. This is the 3rd trip to the ER. I am waiting – for 22 consecutive hours – and the hospital staff are making countless calls to shelters. We’re waiting for her doctor, waiting to hear that her health has stabilized, waiting for her blood sugar to go down. We finallyContinue reading “STEAMPUNK9”

It is a whole new level to live it, outside looking in. Mad as a hatter, I might reach the point of no return. My perspective in this situation is much more transforming than Disneyland, bigger than myself. If you hold her hand, it is warm, soft, and one of the closest I ever gotContinue reading “STEAMPUNK8”

After the second ER visit in one year, I still felt helpless. There were more questions than answers. Yet everyone was telling me about how strong I am. How can I be strong when I …. can’t enjoy the journey. I am traumatized by it. Like year after year, the holidays are upon us, andContinue reading “STEAMPUNK7”

She loves me. She doesn’t love me. She doesn’t see the sacrifices I am making. If she could only see that I can be trusted. I am not a bastard, despite what I tell myself, because I know the difference. I am a good person. I have to continue on the turbulent, black waters ofContinue reading “STEAMPUNK6”

She moved out and I am scratching my head – wondering, does she know that I’m going through the fallout of emotions and words not said? I am in pain, too. What the hell am I supposed to do? Should I stay or get a divorce? What is the purpose of this torture? Life hasContinue reading “STEAMPUNK5”

An Angel in the city of Angeles – I got married about 11 years ago. My wife, my angel, my demon, my reflection. But it happens so fast. I need to take you to the beginning. All you need is ass, grass, or cash. But no one, rides for free. We met on Craigslist. PriorContinue reading “STEAMPUNK4”

I went to a private school between 3rd and 4th grade. I had a really good time. It never felt like school. I think the school was focused on the individual’s progress at their own pace. Much like Montessori. For the most part, all of the classes were mixed in. I was friends with someContinue reading “STEAMPUNK3”

Wait long enough for a moment and all you’re left with are your thoughts. These are truly intrusive regardless of what you were doing. Waiting. You can’t control them. Our thoughts are not who we are. But yet, we waste away trying to control them. All of us have, at times thought of something thatContinue reading “STEAMPUNK2”

On Halloween my wife, daughter, and I made a Jack-O-Lantern at My in-laws house. I almost didn’t do it, between my Job, and significant other, I didn’t have the energy. But am glad we did. We need to do more things like that. It is no secret that I have medical issues and I amContinue reading “STEAMPUNK26”