Category Archives: THE CHASER’S MANIFESTO

In life, we have to trust in fate, humanity, and impulse. In other words, luck. I am no better than the parents that raised me. Yet, I am doing everything to rise above the teachings of my parents and overcome. Honesty – to whom lives their lives by it – is the bond of theContinue reading “STEAMPUNK20”

Once, when I was around 16, my mom left dinner in the oven with a note for me. She was going to be late. I had the house to myself. My middle sister, was spending the night at her friends. I was perfectly happy by myself. It must have been a winter night, around 8Continue reading “STEAMPUNK19”

Mommy, Daddy, I love you. But, why did you get divorced? Why couldn’t you do your children a fucking favor and work it out? What are you chasing? Why are you using us as a pawn in your black hatefulled hearts? This went on for decades. Selfishness ensued. I have repressed the hurt. Remember theContinue reading “STEAMPUNK18”

In my late 20’s, I thought of myself as the anthesis of all good, void of integrity. And the 30s were like I was dying over and over again. I felt like death.  I targeted the relationships of the broken, the hurt, the pain of others, as something I painted with a magic paint brush.Continue reading “STEAMPUNK17”

In my late teens to my early 20s, I consumed copious amounts of alcohol, prescription pain killers, marijuana and psychedelics. I spent hours, days, weeks, and months to perfect the chase of the absurd and curious. This is my circus and I am the ringmaster. I give you the altered states of the sad, butContinue reading “STEAMPUNK16”

If I were to sail away and let go of my past that brought me to this moment, I would be stripping myself of genuine, 100%, integrity. Integrity is the formula for a lost artistic equation of cultural semblance? The essence of the pointless ramblings soon to follow, that you will be reading, that youContinue reading “STEAMPUNK15”

When we go out, we escape reality. We spend like the Gatsbys. I try to justify our spending, but it doesn’t work. Money has taken hold of my family and is keeping us hostage. At this time, my wife is good when she has money. But I have issues when it comes to how/what sheContinue reading “STEAMPUNK14”

I am sick with worry. She is haunted by her thoughts of hurting herself. She holds on to things that are deconstructive. She has no control of them either. She can’t tell the difference between her thoughts and reality. She feels alone, misunderstood. I took her to the hospital. I don’t know anything about whatContinue reading “STEAMPUNK13”

Right now, she is asleep in her bed. I am writing this to her as she sleeps. Sleep baby sleep. Baby, don’t cry.  So peaceful. Bedtime. We are living in a small 1 bedroom apt. We moved 3 times so far this year. I made a series of bad decisions. Bad decisions bleed, but canContinue reading “STEAMPUNK12”

Love and Death. An emotion as well as a metaphor marred together, for all intents and purposes, for the glory. Love, you have always been a clutch for me during times of joy and times of sorrow. It is with a heavy heart that I am unable to make it along the journey with you.Continue reading “STEAMPUNK11”