Woke up, cursing myself for being hostage to the bathroom, while leaving my car running idle, and taking meds. This and that. It affects me when I wake up and stays with me until bedtime. All the same, this and that, keeps me warm. It is what makes me special. It is what makes me dark. I’m sitting down, on a chair, my ass is numb. What time is it, anyway? I glance at my watch, 9pm. I am not supposed to be working. But it keeps me out of trouble. I need more work. I took the liberty of quitting my commitments to a second job, which I am now regretting. I need work like a fish needs water. Like a plant needs air. I need to bloom, but until I find another job, I am rotting. I am not eating. For reasons, you should already know. I will have a hamburger, and chips and hummus for sustenance, today. I would be happy if I could eat more. I am not able to eat and I fear that the lack of nutrients, could be the reason I am so angry and nervous.
I hate to admit this, but I am going to cut back on my intake of MJJ. I don’t need it anymore. I know what I have to do. But why?
THE CHASER'S MANIFESTO 