STEAMPUNK6

She loves me. She doesn’t love me. She doesn’t see the sacrifices I am making. If she could only see that I can be trusted. I am not a bastard, despite what I tell myself, because I know the difference. I am a good person. I have to continue on the turbulent, black waters of my journey. The obstacles, OCD, PTSD, and the choices, in my life haunt me, all the way to the back of my brain.

She won’t let me be the good person that I am. She’s always bitching and scorning me. Out of my mind – over the littlest things. I am not stupid, even though that is what I tell myself. I’m an idiot and I’m stupid, and worst of all, I am insecure. But, who is she to talk. She dropped out of everything that mattered to her. She was enrolled in college three previous times and dropped out. All she has created is debt. She has nothing to show for it. I supported her educational ambitions each time. The truth of the matter is, that she even lied through omission that she went to a different school (while we were married), for the second time. And racked up tuition without a degree, or conscious.

I am losing myself…