STEAMPUNK1

We need to talk. My mouth is not working and is ash dry from smoking. She is a disability. It looks like, finally after 20 hours, that she can be admitted as an inpatient to a psychiatric hospital.

I am really scared. She underestimates what she is capable of. I honestly believe that if she didn’t resign from work and check herself into the hospital, it was only a matter of time, before she goes too far.

We are in the hospital ER room, – a reason to celebrate, not to forget. A window, made out of worries, love, hate, and apologies the fabric of her DNA. To take back control of herself. It began in sudden chaos. 18 hours later, at the ER, they wouldn’t release her for fear that her insulin was too high. No one wanted to take her as “the risk.” Health care, Ha! What a fucken farce. There is no health, there is no care.

To us, they wanted her to go home.  Her gurney is a hot commodity. It’s a business. But it’s none of their business.

What kind of sick world do we live in where the business of illness is called a practice, not a patient. Who does it benefit? It benefits all except those who are sick and, it doesn’t matter if you have no obvious signs. She’s depressed. She’s stuck. She’s suicidal

I’m in pain. I’m swollen. I’m invisible. I also have medical needs. I have Crohn’s Disease.

Mental illness.

What is it that makes people snap? The mind is infinite. In so many ways the “interverse” is greater than the universe. It’s all and none in the same flash. The big bang started singular – from an extremely dense and hot state, and then expanded. It is still expanding. Our minds function in similar ways.